De-cluttering My Soul – A Tale of a Blue Fork
Sep 12
There is some kind of magic that happens in the first half hour when you come home from a holiday. Even if it’s just after one night away. I call it Magic Eyes.
As you walk around the house, you get to see things with new eyes for just a split second. You see the things you love, the things that annoy you, the things that are weighing heavily on your shoulders, the things that make you happy…. and you see the clutter.
It’s such a rare feeling – almost like you are an outsider looking in on your own life for this short time. And it always inspires me.
I have been fortunate over the past couple of years to do some fairly significant refurbishing and de-cluttering in our house. And it’s no wonder that I was so desperate to do it.
I moved out of home when I was fairly young – the year after I finished school. I had NOTHING. I moved in with a boyfriend, and basically just took some clothes to wear. Whenever I bought anything it was from Garage Sales or Op Shops, or being given away by other people. I moved quite a lot over the next couple of years, sharing with different people along the way. I never bought a single thing with the future in mind.
To this very day I have a drawer full of mixed cutlery because I would just buy a single fork for 20c, or an antique teaspoon for $1, and add them to the collection over the years. To me, it didn’t look like anything out of the ordinary. And then I saw it with Magic Eyes, and I knew it had to change.
Sure it’s an aesthetic thing – matching cutlery certainly looks a whole lot nicer than my strange assortment. But it’s so much more. It’s being chained to a past that doesn’t fit me anymore. There is this one particular blue fork that was “unclaimed” at one of my first jobs almost 15 years ago. Someone had obviously bought it in with their lunch and then just forgotten about it. I didn’t have a fork at home. So I asked if I could have it. One fork. I ate a lot of two-minute noodles with that fork.
And yet it sits in my drawer still. It must have moved house more than any other fork in history. But no-one uses it. It’s ugly, it’s not comfortable to hold, and the pointy bits aren’t really all that pointy anymore. Even when the children are setting the table, they know that Mummy does NOT have the blue fork. Even if it’s the last one in the drawer. I’d rather eat with my fingers.
So it’s more than just clutter.
Magic Eyes are my little reality check. They tap me on the shoulder and say “Ahem…. you are not that same broke, unhappy 20 year old anymore. This fork…. you don’t need it anymore. It’s not your crutch. It doesn’t bring back happy memories. In fact, it just makes you sad. Throw it out. Throw the Goddamn blue fork out.”
So I threw the Goddamn blue fork out. It had bad energy that fork.
My cutlery draw is about to have a makeover. And I will feel a little bit of my soul heal, as I start afresh, and happy memories will be made.
It’s amazing how many remnants of the past are hidden in our home. We clutch on to them because once upon a time, they mattered. But in reality – they’re just things. Just stuff.
I am surrounding myself with people that make me happy, and the things that make me smile.
Because life is too short to hold onto a blue fork.
** Update ** My Mum just bought us a BRAND NEW cutlery set for our anniversary so I can finally be rid of all my mish-mashed collection. THANK YOU Mum – you are a true soul-cleanser!!
Great post Nat!! Loved it!!
Thanks Louisa x
I totally get what you are saying about coming home and seeing things with new eyes – that is exactly what happened when we came home from NZ a few weeks ago.
I disagree with you about the mis-matched cutlery though – I would LOVE to have mis-matched cutlery – I love how quirky it is and while we were on holiday I decided that I was going to start my own mis-matched ctlery collection – not that I go to any op shops or garage sales but clearly I am going to have to start going otherwise my collection will never get off the ground.
Thanks for a great post – have the best day !
Me
Just send me your address and they’ll be on their way lol!! Seriously, if I had a cute little collection of antiques and beautiful pieces I would totally be into it. Unfortunately mine are straight from the cheap and nasty shops, and they bend when you scoop ice-cream – so annoying!
Haha! So glad you got rid of that Goddamn fork!
ROFL Kristy – thanks
It felt very liberating to write that!
I love this post!
This has so been me the past few years. My husband and I moved out of home rather young together, bought a house, got married and had our first child all before the age of 21. Which has been the best thing we’d ever done of course and I love our life.
But I’ve been changing things to how I actually want them, how I would actually have them if we didn’t have to use whatever mishmash we had because it was that or nothing. And it feels so good.
I open my cutlery draw now and it’s all silver and matching. I open my plates/bowls cupboard and it’s all white and fresh. My furniture matches and it’s all pieces I mostly like. It just feels good to realise we don’t need that clutter and ugly stuff anymore. More isn’t more, less is more!
And I totally know what you mean about coming home after a holiday with new eyes. Sometimes my house really bugs me, it’s a bit too small and not exactly how I want everything just yet. But after holidays I walk in and realise how beautiful our home really is, and how ‘ours’ it is.
Oh Sarah – you totally get me! It’s so nice to slowly make the changes over the years – and crisp white crockery is next on my wish list!
Declutter is my husband’s favourite activity (yet he is the one with the most stuff). My mother is a hoarder and cannot throw things out or give them away. Personally I am right in the middle. I don’t want to be drowningin stuff nor do I want to necessarily want to part with something just becuase I am not using it. Most importantly I have realised with age that look and function is more important than price tag or heritage (within reason of course). Surround yourself with things that you love and they will naturally match and give your home soul.
I love that Gillian “more important than price tag or heritage”. So often we hold onto something because of it’s monetary value or because we have a sentimental obligation to it. It’s one of the hardest issues to face when we de-clutter!
Think I could have written that myself Nat… except I have a LOT of other “stuff” that i just haven’t been able to let go of. Hubby is off to Vegas for a week and while he is gone my beautiful big sister is coming to stay and help me de clutter and let go of all that “stuff” that I just dont use or need anymore! I look forward to a refreshing start
What a fantastic opportunity – a whole week!!!! All the best with your de-cluttering – you are going to feel GREAT!